A relationship with my friend
Is ending.
I’m lying on the couch
And wondering
Why in the world
Is it so painful?

I have been in this dark place before,
But I can’t stop crying.
What for?

Why does the beginning of relationships seem
So lovely?
Why is it often so
High quality?
Why do we embrace it
So readily?

How have we managed to go
From point A, “Great!”
To point B, “Horror”?
Are we that ignorant?
– No.

Our expectations for each other have
Irritated us.
Our miscommunications have
Cornered us.
At the end, our avoidance has
Killed “us”.

I wish you had told me what
Bothered you.
I wish I had done the same
For you.

I wish you had not lost your trust
In me
For reasons still unknown
To me.

I cared so much
About you.
I cherished every moment
Spent with you.
I know you enjoyed your time with me,
Too.

Then how and why have things
Changed?
Are we not the same?
Have we changed? Aged?

Please!
Tell me!
Did I miss something?
What? Where? Why?
Why do I need to leave you now?
Really. Why?

Is it because it’s a timely thing
To do?
Or, is it because it’s a “right” thing
To do?

 – Olga Africawala, April 2018

 

Conflict

Conflict,

I am not afraid of you anymore!

You are better than I thought about you before.

Conflict,

I know what you mean!

You are not about nothing or everything.

Conflict

Is simpler than it appears,

I just have to be present and clear.

In conflict,

Don’t say what you don’t think, don’t say what you don’t feel,

But say what you think and say what you feel.

In conflict,

Don’t blame, don’t criticize, don’t hurt,

But listen, respect, and support.

In conflict,

Don’t say who is bad; don’t say who is good,

But rather how you both contribute.

In conflict

You have a choice, you have a voice

That no one can take from you.

Conflict,

I am waiting for you

To practice, to grow, and learn more about you.

– Olga Africawala, December 2010